Litt om det å være en rollemodell

Jeg skrev denne posten på et annet sted, derfor er det på engelsk. Men jeg synes det passet inn her, så jeg valgte å poste det her også. =)

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Lately I've been thinking a lot about the teenagers of today, and what kind of examples we're setting for them. I spend my life with teenagers, and I see the things they go through; the things they still don't know about life; the things they have yet to learn. And I remember how I felt, not that long ago, and how big and confusing the world sometimes was (and still is, let's not kid ourselves). As someone who's survived my teenage years, I see it as part of my job to help the teens of today navigate the world they live in, and help them make healthy decisions that will last far beyond their teenage years - much like people in my life did and still do today.

But the fact of the matter is that more than me, more than parents, teachers, youth leaders and peers, the things that shape today's teenagers and young people, are the media. They watch TV, they read books, and they listen to music. And that's what this post is mostly about. I promise this won't be a "the world is ruining the youth of today"-post. It's just a few thoughts I've been having lately.

The other day I was walking through the shopping mall in town when this one song came over the speakers. It was a pretty catchy song, and I soon found myself humming along with the chorus. Then I realized what, exactly it was I was singing. "Daddy, I've fallen for a monster. Somehow he's scaring me to death. He's big and he's bad, I love him like mad. Mamma, he's the best I ever had." (Black heart by Stooshe.) And that's when it hit me: is this really the message we want to be sending our young people? That it's okay that a guy is treating you badly as long as you love him and the sex is really good? Do we want the young men of today to think it's okay to treat girls like crap as long as they're great in bed?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that a lot of the messages in today's mainstream media are just that; girls should allow boys to treat them badly as long as love is at stake. And it's not just in this song. The big teenage heart throb of the day is Twilight's Edward Cullen. And there are countless girls out there who dream of the day when a strange man will come through their window and watch them sleep. (It's true! I've heard girls who said just this. And it's every bit as creepy as it sounds.) Or who want a love so strong that when your boyfriend leaves you because he, apparently, knows what's best for you, they feel as though their lives are no longer worth living. Are we okay with that? As Stephen King said: "Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all popular culture is bad, and if you know me at all you know I mean that. But I think we, as grown-ups and rolemodels, have a responsibility to show today's teenagers that there's more to life than being in a relationship; and there's definitely more to life than being with someone who doesn't respect you, love you, and treat you well. We don't have to remove all mainstream media - on the contrary, I love mainstream media. But for the love of God, let's not advertise songs, books and movies that openly teach teenagers it's okay to give up who you are to make room for someone else. There is so much more to life than that.